stand by, ready

Music: it's real

2025-06-17T15:26:08Z

Okay HI I am back with some Music Blogging

So I picked up my guitar for the first time in a while a few days ago and banged out a song. Spruced it a couple days later, and did some tweaks last night. It's coming together! It's tentatively called "permission to satisfy" but I might change it.

It's looking like the new album is going forward! Shorter than the others, yes...but I think that'll be fine for this year. Here's a track list and where I'm at:

Pink Ribbon: basically done save for some mastering. I may do another main vox pass
Revelation: I went back and tweaked this a while ago, it's still fine. Just couldn't make the cut for windburn. It'll work now!
A False Lead: another oldie but I think it'll do now that it's further away from corvidae
Saturday: a somber one I wrote last year maybe? Acoustic and vox
Mystify: the early 80s rock inspired track. I think it still needs something but not a lot
Born to Decay: this is REALLY old, from the TAM days. I did another vocal pass on it and Now I think it's good
Permission to Satisfy: really went crazy on emoting in the vox for this. Excited to get it out there

So that's 7 songs. I'd like to do one more, and I'd love to do a cover. But uhhh I don't know what I would cover. I know a Lot but deciding what's the best fit is tough. That or I do an experimental spoken word track. I have a half baked idea for that. I would also like to do an acoustic version of either mystify or permission to satisfy. I tested out mystify last night but I need to give it another go...my acoustic skills need a little work with the slides.

Cover ideas:

"Isn't it midnight" - Fleetwood Mac: as is, the charm is christines smooth head voice with the rockin cool guitars
"Sweetness" - jimmy eat world: more acoustic but with as much punch as I can give it
"Somethings always wrong" - toad the wet sprocket: either revamp the old arrange I did years ago or make a new one. I think I need a new key anyway

I'll figure something out

I will probably name the release "pink ribbon" or "mystify". I have cover ideas for both, leaning more toward the mystify one. Pink ribbon had the friendship bracelets spelling out the title...mystify has a b&w profile of me with like cursive synthwave font. I have a vision.

Still not sure when id be able to complete the execution, but I still want to stick with one release a year. Ideally in a month maybe? That's too ambitious given my current lifestyle. Let's say by fall. We'll see tbh

(im on mobile so thatsthat's why this is all limelike this)

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what's everyone up to in dawntrail?

2025-03-13T19:51:00Z

i decided to put everyone in their corresponding colors rather than just by their hair colors. i guess we'll go from L to R

icarus came into dawntrail wanting a VACATION and had to SAVE A REALM AGAIN so as soon as that shit's over he's like "man i'm on vacation. wuk lamat you've got this girl, who give a shit". at any given moment he has a margarita in each hand with seven little umbrellas. he let his hair grow out after EW. idk if i'll ever find a ponytail that will suit correctly for him; i'd love a DoC!genesis ponytail but obviously that's going to be hard to find.
nabi i actually haven't given much thought to how he approaches dawntrail. i think he's most eager to see the other shetona tribes. if he ever crossed paths with the btn/min quest viera, he'd have a good time. i've only gotten him through ARR main patch. he'll probably be his stoic self. the only zarool ja sympathizer. he understands the intensity. nabi's hair change happens either after SB x.0 or SHB x.0, don't remember which i decided on. he has shaggy hair and neatens it up after likely some kind of identity reckoning that co-insides with the plot. he has strong garlean roots and is on a low key redemption quest like. the entire time. until he gets here! so he can chill a little maybe.
miss feilea is living her best life as a DRG/DNC hybrid with her cute little ponytail. she is more than happy to mentor wuk lamat and dote on erinville. i think after x.0, papillon comes over to see her (and they have a big hug, living memory affected her a lot, esp. watching erinville and his mom). she also tells papillon to bug erinville more >:). oh yeah she's also setting up clandestine 3-ways with thancred and urianger. dont' ask me about my amv to "doctor wu" by steely dan. she's still out here moming everyone.
candie is trying to learn every single recipe in tuli'yolal while she struggles with her huge crush on lama'ti while also still dating g'raha tia. she LOVES donuhanu and the blue mage guy. plus she can learn to cook more fish!!!

i think out of these four, only candie calls wuk lamat by her familiar name consistently. feilea will only do it occasionally, and the boys don't at all. okay sorta ran outta steam here but you can have the doodle anyway

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white woman wednesday, issue 6: personal training!

2025-03-05T16:51:09Z

this will be a mini issue, despite being on the TITULAR WEDNESDAY. i'm going to start going to personal training!

my friend recommended it because it's a good way to work out that's Supervised. the trainer reached out to me first actually, though! so i wanted to give it a shot and did a consultation work out. i don't have a ton of Fitness Goals that i haven't told you, dear reader, already, but it's like:

build endurance and get somewhat in shape
strengthen my core
possibly my flexibility?

and this trainer was formerly a competitive swimmer! which was really exciting. she suggested strength training to me to go along with my swimming workout, because swimmers apparently tend to have loose joints because you don't have the same resistance in the water. my swim team growing up had a strength/weight training program, but it was optional and i did not do it (i think it was right afterschool, and i was doing band stuff then) (she mentioned that her school's strength training was NOT optional).

she showed me around the equipment and gave me some advice on certain things too. i actually did talk about this in another place, but it was nice to have someone to show me how to use the equipment and supervise in that way. and the cost, even factoring in the membership, is about the same as doing it with the trainer that my friend goes to once a week. okay so it's gently more, but i think it's really cheaper when you break it down by the time spent there. like i spend $53/week for 1.5 hours, and doing the same for 0.5 hours/week is $50. i feel like i'm racking up subscriptions but this is one worth KEEPING. because it's for my HEALTH.

anyway. gonna start doing that on fridays! excited to get going. i really feel like i'm taking control of my life lately.

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white woman wednesday: monday edition, issue 5: the POOL

2025-02-04T01:18:45Z

yeah we're NEVER getting one of these on wednesday, are we. ANYWAY

in an effort to Take Care of Myself In Conk Creete ways, i've been looking into some kind of lite exercise routine that is sustainable. i figured since i got the diet thing under control, i might want to try this. i tried doing a zumba style dance class, because i like music and dancing, but it wasn't quiiiite my thing. also a lot more high impact than i would prefer. but i've been TRYING to do some kind of swim thing for a while. just getting the gumption up is hard! and there's a JCC literally 5 minutes from my house. with a POOL.

SO

i've been kinda slow prepping for all of this since the beginning of the year. i wouldn't call it a new year's resolution per se, but a similar kind of goal to try and start some exercise thing at least biweekly. i got some waterproof headphones with onboard storage and a new exercise swimmy suit about a month ago. then last week i contacted the JCC and they gave me a tour of the facilities. and TONIGHT after dinner i packed up my literal old swim duffle bag, donned my swimsuit, and WENT. TO THE POOL TO SWIM. PLEASE. CLAP!!!

as far as schedule goes, ideally i would like a monday night swim slot. spouse is busy monday nights, so that bit works out. tuesdays and thursdays i'm in office, so i'm keeping clear of those. wednesday night is another choice, but that means i lose another weeknight with the spouse. and friday i'd also kinda like to keep clear for Events And So On.

i have a few choices:

monday night ~6 PM
wednesday night ~7 PM; the swim team is there until 6:45 and the pool is only open until 7:45 so this isn't ideal, even if i'm only there for that amount of time
monday or wednesday lunch ~12 PM; sacrificing my lunch to do the swim thing. the timing is just a bit tight
monday or wednesday morning ~7 AM; doing the get up early thing, swim, come home, shower and just go right to work

so how did monday night go? GREAT ACTUALLY

there were only a couple people lap swimming, and one left basically when the deep h20 water class came in, so i had a half lane to myself. that was my biggest worry: that it would be too crowded. honestly though i scanned the fitness area (with the treadmills etc) on my way in and it wasn't super busy there either. so that is going to make my decision much easier about when to go. i can do my first choice!!

the waterproof headphones were especially good underwater. i did have to adjust my cap around them though. maybe if i put them under my cap? i'll try that next time. also, i was using my cap and googles circa 2007-2008 soooooo i could use new ones, especially for the goggles. they don't seal well and really squeeze my eyeballs. the cap squeezes my head but it's mostly just yellowed with age. so have the goggles tbh, so it wouldn't hurt to get new ones. i should also get swimming earplugs too if that's a thing, since i kept getting water in my ear.

the experience was good though! my endurance is obviously shot but i got to do some laps and remember my old swim coach's words on technique and so on. it all comes back really naturally. i do love swimming! i lasted for about 45 minutes, which i think is fine. i went from 6:15-7:00. i know they have showers there, but i'm so close that i just shower when i get home. then i can do my usual routine and put on all my creams. man were my lips and face parched after all that chlorine!!

so yeah, i was going to try all the possible time slots to see what fit best for me, but tbh i think this one is going to work with the volume of people there. if it changes, i'll try something else. going to aim for every monday, the routine as follows:

no morning shower
end work at 4:30
prep dinner early to eat by 5:30
leave around 6
swim until 7
full shower routine in the evening
snack and cozy time

this'll work out re: shower too, because when i'm in office i don't morning shower for the sake of time (i'm rolling out of bed). so my hair will be for really fresh for work the next day. i'm not in every chewsday but 2 in the month most of the time.

look at me!!! doing stuff like this!!!! i feel like a real adult or something. extremely in my 30s. anyway, time to try another bracelet pattern. until next time!

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white woman wednesday: friday edition, issue 4: food and scents

2025-01-24T18:18:55Z

WILL white woman wednesday EVER fall on ACTUAL wednesday?? i guess you'll just have to stay tuned to the next issue to find out!

anyway, i found a great greek/mediterranian bowl/pita joint in town today and i made a fucking fantastic bowl of food. containing the following:

brown rice
arugula
grilled chicken
diced tomato and cucumber
avocado
tzatziki
hummus
tahini dressing

IT WAS SO GOOD. 10/10 WOULD DO IT AGAIN. maybe not next week when i'm in office again. i'll probably do my bon me bowl which contains the following:

brown rice
pulled pork
mixed greens
pickled daikon radish
cucumber
shredded carrot
onion?
sesame dressing

it's something like that. it's also real good. it's either that or sushi. i love salmon...

i've also been getting into coffey lately. i never drank coffee before mostly because of the caffeine. the big scary police officer in the last throes of the DARE era told me caffeine was a DRUG and i believed him. so i just didn't.

but anyway fast forward like 20+ years and my spouse is a Coffee Person, so i want to enjoy it with him. we did a tasting with decaf and it turns out the process doesn't matter, more the roast, so i've been more adventurous in trying decaf coffee! there's a cafe we go to occasionally that's decent but a little too acidic. but yesterday when i was in town, i got a latte from a place and it was nice and roasty. good stuff! i will say that i can't really have black coffee--still too bitter for me. gotta have SOME milk. don't need the sugar though. so i think i'll gravitate away from lighter roasts.

okay, there's the food section. now about the SMELL section.

as i was trying to find a Signature Lipstick Color, i've been lowkey into finding a signature Scent too. there's something by bath and body works called pink pineapple sunrise that was just divine, but it's unfortunately a summer flavor. i'll probably stock up on that when the time comes. but in the here and now, i found one called champagne toast that is ALSO really great. i don't like floral smells, or super sweet smells, but i DO like things that are light and fruity.

the tasting notes on champagne toast are (according to their website):

bubbly champagne
sparkling berries
juicy tangerine

okay that's cool. here's pink pineapple sunrise:

sweet pink pineapple
palm sugar
sun-drenched nectar

i was hemming and hawing because i also have this limited edition hand sanitizer that's called "diamond of the season"
that they don't SELL anymore because it was a collab. these are its tasting notes:

sparkling peach
spring daffodil
radiant jasmine

and like i LIKE it but i had my spouse smell test champagne toast and diamond of the season side by side, and he liked the former better. i know i shouldn't take it too much to heart since he can hardly smell anything, and this is for me, but Still. you know how it is.

it's just been weird, to keep track of and want to have more "girly" things. i think i'm going through another small identity spat. another headmate was dominating our personality for the last...several months and i think he's finally eased back, so it's weird when It's Just Me calling the shots. or it can be. because i have a tenuous grip on who i am most days. it truly be like that sometimes.

anyway i'm excited to smell fresh and fruity, tee hee. i bought a gift pack that has hand lotion, body lotion, body wash, and fragrance mist, which pretty much covers the bases of stuff i (might) use. and because of the "might", it'll last a long time. at least until i realize that it's being discontinued. god i have some b&bw stuff from literal decades ago that i haven't used up. i've pruned down significantly, but i have a glitter body lotion AND a roll-on perfume thing that they don't sell the flavor for anymore. it'd be one of those things where i'd have to be like "hey, what's the closest you can get to this" when i go in store. i might do that for the diamond of the season one tbh. at least get a hand cream of it or something.

when pink pineapple sunrise is back in stock, i want to get a "gift set" of it too for matchies. then i'll have summer and winter flavors! it's probably a bit excessive. but sometimes you need such things in these trying times. the niceities.

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a song?!

2025-01-15T03:21:53Z

oh jeez! i've been listening to a lot of contemporary indie pop and alt country lately, and tonight i was inspired. sketched out a little acoustic song called "leading man". it's pretty simple, and i'm not sure if i'll expand upon it. that's like my 2nd soft confessional song for this new set ("saturday" is the other one). this is very obviously in stark contrast to songs like "mystify" and so on.

there are a few other songs that i've tried to spruce up for a new record but i don't know if i actually like how they turned out. so i might scrap them in the end. i'll have to listen and see

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more robot story ideas...

2025-01-13T03:35:30Z

well for one, i downloaded ren'py, so there's uh. that. for two, i did some drawing today and it ended up being these:

in universe, actual autonomous androids aren't really a thing, they're all being controlled by people at their homes. this is in a world where VR has actually taken off. these are the most common models in our main character's area, SALLE and CHAD. commonly called "sals and chuds". people can remote into them via VR and control them that way. they're common in customer service and they're also pretty common in meeting and gathering places, such as the club. you can hook up with these robots and it's considered sleezy. someone is controlling them on the other side!

i've got to go to bed but i want to elaborate a litte more later.

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minor audio work today

2024-12-30T21:37:32Z

worked on "mystify" again, finally put in some better drum fills. i feel like i've got to do a little more work on the vocals, but i changed around some EQs and it's sounding better. i might need to put in another guitar solo too. we'll see. it's like so close to being done but still not quite. i feel like some places need to be filled in and levels need to be adjusted.

i haven't been in a music mode lately but i'm sure it'll come back to me

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WTCF BACKUP COMPLETE

2024-12-27T21:24:58Z

that was. exhausting. and i probably could have figured out a better way to do it. but now it's all here! now we can bravely move forward whenever i decide to do more music work. hopefully soon! WATCH THIS SPACE!!

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womp womp (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:23:37Z

Hello,

Your recently submitted Artist Alley listing ("listen on bandcamp") has been rejected for the following reason:

| https://cohost.org/staff/post/7611443-cohost-to-shut-down

yeeeah that's. that's too bad. it's too bad about all of this, since i really liked band journalling on here. i'll have to find another place to do it, because it's been really helpful in marking my journey as a Serious recording artist

once i find said place, i'll link it i suppose

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VERY SUCCESSFUL RECORDING SESSION WITH BITWIG STUDIO (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:21:12Z

i recorded:

a "new collective" style MIDI groove with some tweaking
a mixed midi/live set, with recorded vox and guitar on separate tracks
a full live set with audio on one track

after the midi session it took me a minute to get the latency dialed in; i had to go back to the mac and see what it had, and then replicate it on linux. but once i did that it was golden. i could really get into it

i need to see what electric guitar effects i can play with there as well...that's one thing i didn't test tonight. that's okay! it's quite robust and the fact that i can run it on a laptop is impressive to me. that or this guy has more horsepower than expected

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bandcamp friday is tomorrow (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:20:18Z

i am going to put an ad on artist alley for it! today allegedly!

i've also been back in the linux rabbit hole and found a DAW that i'm highly interested in. bitwig studio seems really powerful and even if it isn't FOSS, it's WAY easier to get started than any of those other FOSS options. i was able to like start recording instead of figuratively wondering where to plug things in. so i'm going to experiment a little with that before i buy so i don't have to get a new mac.

i did a cover that i uploaded to my personal soundcloud recently. played around a little more with the vtuber model for whenever i get that rolling.

i do wish i had a space to really be loud instead of my office, which is not terribly soundproof. maybe i would play more in general. i get self conscious. terrible trait for a performer but oh well.

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Oh shit I worked on music last night and didn't blog about it (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:19:30Z

Just a little bit on "lovers trap", some more vocals and then a guitar solo. I got interrupted by a fellow music nerd on discord which was fine by me

Trying to learn "undefeatable" to do a gutted acoustic version of it. If I pull it off it'll be great, but if I don't, it will be. How do you say. Bad

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distributing updates (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:18:47Z

not a lot of news here. been busy at the day job and dawntrail is still hot. however, i did check distrokid and i've made a whopping $3.50!!! the streams from the song that got botted actually became paid to me.

like I Get It, i would rather my songs NOT get botted because that sucks, but the fact that spotify took down my album over Three Fucking Dollars is crazy insane. i am a single guy over here and would love real people to engage with my music. ough uugh.

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Lover's trap (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:17:57Z

opened up garageband expecting to just doodle on my acoustic, but the rock song was up and just like that i was able to really whip out lyrics and melody. nice!! i'll need some dedicated quiet time to do final vox. it also needs a guitar solo and better drums so just the bones are there for the most part. but yay! i was worried i wasn't going to be able to do it but i'm pretty confident about it now.

i think i'll title it "lover's trap"

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Q: when are you going to use that vtuber model you paid [REDACTED] for huh (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:17:04Z

A: listen. dawntrail and artfight and a vacation i am traveling for are ALL coming up next month so Maybe Someday is the current answer. i have a super long weekend coming up next week so maybe that'll be when i'll do a soft start. i have a twitch set up for it OKAY and all my overlays came in. i am prepared.

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the pat benetar revelation (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:16:15Z

i sang at karaoke the other night with friends and did a pat benetar song, and i think i realize why my band director wanted to sing her stuff. i was REALLY out of it but for a moment (except when my voice got pitchy) i thought i could sound like her. i really have to push my voice though.

SO i'm writing some kind of rock song in that vein. sketched out the form but when i tried putting lyrics to it, all i could think of was the verse to "call me" and we can't do that. so i'll just come back to it another time.

in other news, said youtube channel i set up last time i was here is now all connected with my distributor so i have control and access over it. yay!

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VTUBER MODEL: REAL

2024-12-27T21:15:02Z

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJTDrKI64a8

i'm still working out the kinks and getting the tracking right, but YEAH. BIRD BANDSONA REAL. so pwetty

Oh yeah, so you may notice that I made the YouTube account: I forgot that I had a Gmail and an account dedicated to YouTube that I hardly use anymore. I used it more when I was in college and there exist 10+ year old vids of me playing guitar when I was young and beautiful (takes a laborious deep breath)

ANYWAY. I just created a new channel connected to that which was pretty painless. Problem solved. Here's hoping I can get it verified as an artist channel through distrokid

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song working (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:14:04Z

worked on that "saturday" song again. i will probably keep it acoustic and fairly simple. i got some bad news from home, so the lyrics are about getting bad news from home, and feeling bad for wanting no more news from home. so it goes. it's pretty sounding but probably generic singer/songwritery. hopefully i can carry it well enough.

in lighter news, my rigger should be done with my model in a couple days, so i'll get to try that out. i'm commissioning some overlays which won't even get started for at least another week, so i might just work on getting the audio right in the meantime.

EDIT: OH YEAH i wanted to make kitschy friendship bracelets to do the album art for the next album so those are also done. it's gonna be called "pink ribbon".

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thanks for buying (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:13:22Z

Someone else bought Windburn today! For more than expected even! Thank you!

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ARTIST ALLEY LISTING IS LIVE

2024-12-27T21:12:39Z

Also got corvidae back on Spotify! It's all looking up for this non goth crow that flies

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just submitted an artist's alley listing! (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:11:21Z

just needs to get reviewed, and then it'll be up for 2 weeks. thank you mr. eggbug

i'll probably do another promo round for corvidae's 1 year release. or at least a discount code

oh yeah, i did some production a couple days ago?

added that 2nd verse to "something beautiful"
did some harmonies on "dead end"
bounced updated drafts of new songs
i feel like i did something else but now i can't remember

oh yeah, resubmitted corvidae back to spotify since the whole album got taken down. should be back within a few days. i guess i gotta be diligent about fake playlists!! i guess!! or just hope that i don't go viral and spotify thinks i'm botting!!!!!

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(crossposted)

2024-12-27T21:10:11Z

Just found out that one of my tracks was put on a bot playlist for "engagement" and got taken down off Spotify. Very frustrating, considering that I don't use those services. I don't want to get banned off Spotify because someone else decided that I needed more plays and chose to bot them. The term is "artificial streaming", and it still sucks. I would rather have an actual audience than try to fast track anything.

#i'm actually pissed off right now #i know i was like bewildered about it earlier but i didn't think i needed to like. get it reported before spotify found it

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hey a few people followed me after posting that cover (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:06:47Z

neat!!! thanks!!! i typically use this space to music journal. which i'm going to do a little bit of since i have neglected to in the last couple sessions

i tried working on some club mix of "white pine" that i also don't know if it'll go anywhere. if i can figure it out i'll really push on the "transient" one and release them together
i uh. guess that was it. oH but i did get an acrylic riser for my desk to put my midi keyboard on while i work. i had a clunky situation before

been feeling the need to read poetry and get songwriting ideas. i wanna write something flowy and put music to it is what i'm feeling. i'll probably work on something tonight

OKAY HOLD UP A MINUTE

SPOTIFY NUMBERS ARE CRAZY GO NUTS, MAY 5-7 THERE ARE 1238 STREAMS. WHAT HAPPENED.

like i think that was bandcamp friday so i did a little bump, but i didn't bump streaming? i just checked distrokid on a whim and was like what do you MEAN i have over 1000 streams

looking into spotify for artists. someone went INSANE listening to "matters now" a couple weeks ago. it was put on both a spotify radio algorithm playlist (that only accounts for 6 streams) and one called "BEATSCAPE" (the other fucking. 1200). it was made by one of those "we'll add you to playlists to ~grow your music organically~" sites, but i did NOT reach out to them/pay them to do this. so that's crazy. mood though, i really like "matters now".

i did get added to a bluesky artists playlist, but they added "melissa" as the track.

anyway. thanks for listening out there, wherever you are.

i wrote a whole new song today! i was listening to hum and wanted to make something sludgey. it's called "dead ends" and mostly uses my "other" voice. you would think i would just sound like brainkreig but it actually is pretty cool.

when i was recording i did 2 very slick guitar solos, including one that had a pinch harmonic and big bend, but UNFORTUNATELY when i was doing the end (27 takes of very specific harmonics), i accidentally deleted them because of how garageband highlights recorded regions. so i had to REDO the solos and it took TWICE AS LONG THE SECOND TIME. OH WELL. THAT'S AUDIO PRODUCTION FOR YA.

oh yeah, remembered one of my other thoughts: i could add another verse section onto "something beautiful", easy. i just don't have the energy for it now.

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(x posted from personal twitter) (cohost crosspost)

2024-12-27T21:06:00Z

funnie how for my band project I chose a crow, a known bird associated with gothic and macabre, when my music is quite distinctly none of those things. The imagery I have is driving down dirt roads in nowhere Maine during the hot summer, and seeing crows circle overhead under a clear blue sky. Just wild and free.

"when the crow flies" was a gut feeling intuition name, I didn't want to premeditate too much on it and get caught in choice paralysis or overanalyze. It feels more genuine that way. This thought train brought to you by my coworker reviewing my album over slack and being really enthusiastic about it. Makes me happy when people listen to and enjoy my work...

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